im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
