There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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