brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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