No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
