Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
