i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Randomize