U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
