Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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