Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
