I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
