i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
