I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize