he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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