shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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