yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
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can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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