i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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