dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
