I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
