Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
