it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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