Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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