Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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