i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
