Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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