why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
