My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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