I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You've changed since you got that strap on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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