so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
where are my eyebrows?
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