do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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