she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
