nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
