what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize