and she was petting her beer can
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
