I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
