if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize