Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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