Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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