Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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