omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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