Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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