your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
