drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
