What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
