I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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