She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you would pick up someone in the library
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
