you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
