Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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