that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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