he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
