Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
