Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
