Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
