The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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