Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
