He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
