guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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