im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
