Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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