Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
