yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
