i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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