so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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