If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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