I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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