wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
