Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
